Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
