So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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