Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
