Are we in a gay sports bar?
high people should be assigned attendants
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
