oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
