i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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