god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
