there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
