69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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