How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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