apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
