1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
is it fun? or sober?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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