Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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