the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
