I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
