If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
