I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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