I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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