i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
