Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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