come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
