I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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