I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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