I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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