i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I checked into jail on foursquare
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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