Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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