Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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