Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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