THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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