What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
