so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
