Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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