I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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