Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
