It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
