I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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