i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
