youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
