Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
