3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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