I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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