would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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