also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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