life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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