It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
