Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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