i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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