it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
