and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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