She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
