Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
