Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You ate ashes out of my bong
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
