I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
