you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If I die, sorry about rent.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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