do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
