Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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