Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
