we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
