You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
