No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
